some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
He just randomly started talking about Haiti and Conan O'Brien and his grandpa's hip replacement operation. It was the worst phone sex I've ever had.
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
It was like watching porn, except it was in real life, and it was starring two of your best friends.
YOU ARE NOT A BOTTLE OF RUM THEREFORE I DONT KNOW HOW TO LOVE YOU
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.
So unofficially, he told me he deleted tinder because of me. I think that's a pretty romantic gesture in 2018.
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
My drunk is wearing off and im starting to feel like this dolphin tattoo was a bad idea.
Randomize
