Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
Washing the last semen-stained shirt you have really solidifies a breakup. It just got real.
remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
Like do you hear me I PUKED IN MY OWN HANDS AND HE STILL SAID I WAS GORGEOUS
Robert just walked in drunk, grabbed my Jameson from me, told me to let him do his thing, and spilled it all over the coffee table. Then he told me to grab a funnel because he was going home.
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
Jealous. I want an iud. Maybe there's a late night bodega that'll insert one for me
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
He sent me a website link to GIF on Snapchat. I don’t think he understands how Social Media works.
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
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