Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
I'd tell u there's strippers to make you get here faster, but that would be a blatant lie... There's strippers here.
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
I forgot wine drunk hurts
Stop letting me drink while doing my makeup. I think I used sharpie for eyeliner.
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
My favorite part was making you pull out your lucky steelers vibrator and show it to jerome bettis at the bar
Randomize
