how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
but the lizard people decide everything anyway
Two penises later: I might be straighter than I think.
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
I just realized how terrible that was... I was drumming on your penis to a song about Baby Jesus.
Honestly my life is shambles over a married man who looked like a fuckin NERD ON HIS WEDDING DAY
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
Can we get pizza? This is seriously not a booty call. I just really want someone to get pizza with me.
Tripping over coffee tables hurts shins but face is okay bc I landed on a sofa.
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
Randomize
