I didn't cheat on him. Cheating means finding out. I made sure he was at work first. After the guy left I got shitfaced just so nothing seemed out of the ordinary when he came home.
can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
halloween makes it hard to decipher real cops... from sexy men dressed up as them.
its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
I feel bad for the next person that's gonna live in my room. There's so much semen on the carpet
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
he just asked me for a tag team. like at least let me get changed out of your roommates clothes from last night first...
I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
You're asking your pregnant booty call to go to a funeral with you?
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
I just saw a guy in a hazmat suit riding a tractor.
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
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