you know what i hate about salt? you can't see it.
never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
The last thing I remember is ordering two Martinis while yelling 'CAN YOU PUT THAT IN ONE GLASS?'
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
I don't know what happened. His phone, shirt, shoes, and the condom wrapper are here but he isn't. I don't even know how to get a hold of him right now
I have to drop off my inflatable penis costume at the bar for my bartender. Do you think you could meet me there at like 630?
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
Okay so it turns out that my bf keeps a log of every time I sleep-fart. It's dated back to 2013.
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
Wanna buy a dildo with me during your lunch break tomorrow?
Randomize
