Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
I hit a bug from across the room with my flip flop boomerang style. That awesome.
the most drunk i have ever been? possibly. the most drunk i have ever been on a monday? definently.
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
I took it upon myself to take one shot of tequila to have an excuse for hitting on my not-single coworker. It worked.
I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.
i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
You know you're doing well in life when weed is considered to improve your job performance
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
I'm not kidding, he literally jumped in the red panda exhibit. I knew this was gonna be a good birthday.
If I get back to the house before you, I'm setting up the swing. If you get there before me, it's chains and cuffs.
Randomize
