Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
What if we had a smart house and we could just say "baked" and it would rain donuts?
Apparently it costs $70 to clean vomit off the side of our apartment building.
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
Just heard one of my friends say, "if you're trying to take advantage of me I really dont care. I just want this beer." ..
I got a second ticket last night for drunkly using my one call to order a pizza and get it delivered at the police station
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
I snapchatted his face mid sex. Needless to say, I don't think I'll ever see him again.
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
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