He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
it's a shame restraining orders have to come between me and my relationships
i DID NOT walk around with my knees bent and my hands behind my back with long spandex and underarmour pretending to be Apollo Ono
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
I would makeout with my roommate, but im not drunk enough and she doesnt like bacon fat
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
im not trying to sound dramatic, but im covered in microwavable lasagna
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
Who the fuck gets injured on a merry-go-round? HOW IS IT POSSIBLE??
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
We took a walk on the beach after the bar, he held my hand and kissed me. And then I peed under a lifeguard stand. It was so romantic.
Never let your siblings swipe right.
Randomize
