Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
I'm on a mission to free the leash kids. Like liberating the Israelites from Egypt. Only better.
Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
ever have one of those nights where you feel like you should leave the house with your insurance card? that is tonight, my friend.
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
I feel like I shouldn't have to explain to you why giving your cat weed was a bad idea.
All I vaguely remember from last night is getting up on that nice mahogany table and debating about squirrel's rights
Like an undercooked grilled cheese that got cold again. But hairy.
And there goes my desire for sandwiches. Forever.
Remember when I made fun of you when you ran out of toilet paper on your brother's birthday and had to use coffee filters? Guess what happened today
The only words we could get out of him as he stared catatonically into space were "Everyone I know and love is dead"
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
Randomize
