I don't think he's ever woke up with a paraplegic stripper sitting on his face before.
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
please bring me a paper towel asap.
I was drinking wine in bed and spilt some on my chest.. And I cautiously guided it into my belly button but now I dont know what to do.
Pizza delivery...for when you need to eat your feelings for the sex you aren't having
I feel like I'm laying on a pillow cloud. With little baby angel fingers between me and the cloud lifting me up. Singing hymns in my ear.
Welp, I can cross "making out with a guy in a dress" off my bucket list...
Why am I wearing a dog collar
Only way we could keep you from running in to traffic.
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
I woke up this morning to my panties draped around the neck of an empty bottle of bulleit. That is the perfect visual metaphor for my life at this juncture.
My sack is cleanly shaven and the rest of my body has been manscaped. i even put aftershave on my junk. i feel sleek like a fighter jet right now.
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
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