Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
He uses pillows to masturbate.
So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
last day of my family cruise we all got trashed and had an award ceremony. I got the award for hooking up with a cougar. my grandma hugged me and said im living up to the legacy. this is why my familys better than yours
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
Too drunk to talk to museum staff. So much for proper wednesdays
I have a kicked-out-of-multiple-bars level hangover today
I just had a mental image of us riding a tractor through hell with one of those big guns mounted on top of it shooting at everyone while the indiana jones music plays.
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
After I chugged my beer the cop slapped my ass and said "atta girl" this can't be real life.
Randomize
