TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
That's when you crack a 10am beer
i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
Just convinced airport security that im sober. All i do is win.
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
saw a man tazing a raccoon in the middle of the street last night... normal
I got rejected. By another girl. At a red light. In front of seven shirtless cyclists in the middle of the night. How is that normal?!?
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
Jacob lost his virginity in a threesome. I am deffs fucking this kid.
DURING A THUNDERSTORM ON HIS BIRTHDAY.
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
At least life still wants to fuck me.
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Randomize
