i hope you realize when i said "grib" earlier i was referring to the gridded binary, a mathematically concise data format commonly used in meteorology to store historical weather forecast data. also meant in referential conjunction to my probability math class that i am failing at roughly 215pm tomorrow afternoon.
You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
My own mom unfriended me on Facebook.
Just watched a drug bust from the Ralphs parking lot while listening to Frank Sinatra. Happy Valentine's Day.
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
It wasn't the stripper that gave you the hickey but I just figured out who did
It's taking 3 penises to fill the hole he left in my heart.
I am too drunk to deal with your everything. Reread this everytime you feel the need to talk to me.
Last night I was this close to hooking up with someone called "Handjob Pat" dubbed for the time he paid $150 for a handjob in Canada.
I woke up in a strange bathroom. Was I blonde when you left me last night?
In case you're wondering what frozen hashbrowns taste like at 4 in the afternoon, shame. They taste like shame.
I ordered more beers for everyone but had to finish them all. I promptly went outside and projectile vomited in the street. Three times.
Waking up with cheese all over my clothes and my vibrator in my pants is a sign we drank way too much tequila last night
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
Randomize
