i was so high that i was eating crumbs of my bed only to realize they were fuzz thingies. fml.
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
I just shaved my vag with a razor my dad left when he was here a few months ago. Too hungover to think about the Freudian connotations
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
Don't judge me. It's a Monday night and I can eat burritos in while bathing in the kitchen sink if I want to.
I just drunk texted the Italian guy and now I’m flooded with Shane. Uh, shame, not Shane. He sounds nice, though.
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
Randomize