You drink too much
No, I drink just the right amount - too often.
i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life?
Someone sharpied 'shit show' on my tits. Someone with excellent penmanship
You were too busy being proud of your penis shaped pancakes to notice...
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
Breakfast of champions
Is that a dick crepe?
It is indeed
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
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