We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
Vegas for my brothers bachelor party. Just landed and I have a boner. I'm giggly and teary eyed I'm so excited.
I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
I am in shape. i keep telling you that.
Round is not "in shape," it's "a shape."
how to cook rice: 1. put random amount of rice and water in a pot 2. have sex on the kitchen floor. when you are done having sex the rice is ready
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
So the first 4 hours of my morning was equivalent to seeing under water. Things were starting to get better until I remember I drank mustard for free stuff and flossed my teeth with a strand of hair from a stranger in the bathroom.
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
I think I just danced on the bar. With a man named Alabama.
Thank you for turning 21. I'm going to love reading your texts.
Don't act like you're not jealous that I disappeared into the closet to blow my husband. Marriage = all the cock I want.
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
Please don't finger me like a jackhammer. I'm a woman not a construction site.
He smells like sex and magic. I’m already naming our children
Maybe you should talk to him first
Randomize
