also, made friends with this 75 year old millionaire Tony who likes to mosh. Don't ask.
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
Either I'm still drunk or the right side of the bed is now the left side.
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
If you magically turned into a tall white gay guy, ignore this message. If not, then I'm sure someone has your fb password.
I'm so jealous of your sex life. You know it's awesome when thinking about the sex you had last night brings you tears of joy.
You caught me at a bad time. I'm stoned enough that I'm ready to sleep but also not stoned enough that I wanna smoke again but also stoned enough to not wanna drive anywhere
When I type "sleep" my phone suggests "with Trevor". My phones an asshole.
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
when I walked in the door they were passed out naked, on top of eachother, with tetris controllers in their hands.
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
Randomize
