So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
my momz letting me make the christmas card in photoshop
so that means christmas in space?
imma make our dead cats ghosts like obi wan kenobi
I dislocated my rib eating pizza. I think I am broken.
It's official drugs can't kill me
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
He professed his love for me while I danced on a picnic table with a bottle of Absolut. I said thank you and walked away.
I threw up in the darkest corner of the bar last night, then watched 2 girls freak out in disgust after walking through it. I then realised I puked on the dancefloor, took a picture and proceeded to send it to my mom.
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
Well I thought I saw everything and then I saw Christmas themed poop bags at Petco.
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
Randomize
