He kissed a someone with a penis
My 54 year old father just sent me a YouTube link on my school email titled "Walrus sucks his own dick" and then wrote in the email "I wish I were a walrus". What the fuck is wrong with my family?
How sober do you have to be to donate blood?
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
Apparently, I showed up wrapped in caution tape and immediately jumped on the stripper pole and started making very sexual gestures at the birthday girl. We lasted ten minutes.
Woke up in a wet suit with my junk cut out. In a strange apartment. Just found thing biggest bong u have ever seen. WHERE ARE YOU?!?!?!
Just remembered seeing jalepenos in my vomit last night. Reminded me to thank you for sharing your queso with me. You're a good friend.
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
I think my boss gives me work off weekends because he doesn't want me showing up hungover anymore..
So you're on like a list there now..."Do not under any circumstances give this person a knife. Serve them in plastic cups ONLY"
What part of don't open in front of your kids didn't you understand? Astroglide, magnums, fuzzy handcuffs and a blindfold are going to be hard to explain as friends presents.
his penis was like the majestic horn of a unicorn and I came like a million trumpeting rainbows.
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