Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
i came out of the bathroom and he had christmas lights wrapped up his leg, around his boner, and down the other side
i just googled "alcohol delivery service". im combating drunk driving one lazy act a time.
How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
We're drinking vodka. Wine is for people who have to wake up in the morning.
At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
Whatever you do tomorrow don't let me put on the Borat mankini and yell "POLAR PLUNGE!!" while diving into the pool
The pool is covered.....
Like that would stop me.
So I got lost trying to find you guys and ended up proposing to a bride in a bachelorette party with a condom.
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
you licked my face then when I finally got you to the bathroom, mid puke you said you liked the taste of my foundation.....you weren't drunk at all....
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
Next time I say "i forgot to eat dinner, oh well" before drinking STRAP ME TO A CHAIR AND FORCE FEED ME BEFORE ALLOWING ME TO CONSUME BOOZE
Randomize
