Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
i haven't been laid since the bush administration. it's frustrating.
Some advice for success: 1) Go ugly early, it saves you time and money; 2) If you can't pork a princess, pound a pig for practice; and 3) Beauty is only a light switch away.
ur like the dr phil of bizarro world.
do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
Bought a water-proof vibrator. Rubber ducky is no longer the one that makes bathtime so much fun.
i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
Just saw a cop issuing a DUI. At 3 pm. It's definitely the start of winter break.
his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
yea, the bartender wouldn't serve you because you kept asking for "a slice of beer"
My night sucks. It's really hard to masturbate with a broken finger.
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
Tell me you're alive little brother. And please tell me you didn't get arrested. You made no fucking sense last night in your random texts and pictures you were sending me.
Randomize
