4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
At first I felt shameful, waking up naked next to a box of oreos and half a can of cake frosting...then I realized, this could be a bigger discovery than Atlantis.
Hashbrowns don't come out your nose as easily as you would think
Hungover Fun Fact #4: Eating a grilled stuffed burrito WILL make you blow chunks in the ice maker at work.
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
My mother walked into the bathroom at 345 am while I was splashing in the bathtub with the remnants of her birthday cake all over me... she looked at me and walked out...
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
Remember the time you puked your contact lens out?
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
Yesterday I febreezed my bed in between gentleman callers
the raccoons are back...
Randomize
