glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
I'm pre-party power houring. It's so catchy I couldn't not do it
The prostitute across the street from us is having a seizure on her front lawn again.
At least I know she didn't hear me crawl to my room. Or did I walk on my hands? Fuck if I know.
Things you owe me: a sober apology, $12, the removal of bbq sauce from my doorknob
What's the best way to say, "it's too early in our relationship to leave me at your place alone"? Steal something?
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
Was not aware that standing loudly up off the couch and loudly, drunkenly slurring "I'M EIGHTEEN NOW BITCHES" counted as a primitive mating call.
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
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