I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
Just deleted any ex boyfriends and potential lovers from my phone in preparation for Vegas...
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
Nothing says "I forgive you for puking on me during sex" like a Facebook add the next morning...
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
We get an extra hour of sleep. That means we can take an extra shot tonight. Sound logic. Thank you daylight savings.
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
He's listening to "my heart will go on" by himself in the living and its not even noon. MAKE IT STOP.
Bought a gym bag tonight. Used it to bring my Taco Bell in the house.
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
Failing this, see a doctor for elephant tranquillisers, to be taken with whiskey orally, twice at dawn.
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
Hey do u remember the time we used my mascara wand as a drink stirer?
I'm eating cold pizza from work and drinking beer from a wine glass trying to decide if I want to shower or just rub one out and go to sleep. How have I ever gotten laid?
Because you're really hot before taking the time to actually get to know you.
Randomize
