Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
a fat lady just tried to bring a cooler stuffed full with burger kid through airport security. christ I'm going to miss the midwest.
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
We found you wrapped up in a tarp in the garage the next morning, thats how real shit got.
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
I just hit your bf in the face with a mustard bottle and the guy at the table next to us bowed down to me.
I'm either a high functioning alcoholic or I'm making the most of the fact that this is the last year that its socially acceptable to be black-out drunk five days a week.
I put on a tiger onsie to initiate sex... It worked
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
found a note from drunk me saying "don't worry i fed the mice". WHAT MICE?
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