Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
Whats the glycemic index on semen?
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
I really hope I'm not the first person who's had to wash vomit off of cash and credit cards.
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
TONIGHT IS GOING TO BE A FUCKING BLAST. EVEN IF I HAVE TO SET OFF A BUNCH OF FIREWORKS IN YOUR KITCHEN.
Great news! In less than 2 hours, I'm ripping your underwear off with my teeth!
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
I broke my wrist trying to give him a blow job...
And this is why we can’t have nice things
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