Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
My dad just told me if I'm going to smoke pot, to make sure I use a clean needle. WTF?
he looks like a really good dad on facebook
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
Oh, I'm just lighting tennis balls and WD-40 on fire, what are YOUUU doing?!
He needs a high five right to the fucking mouth. With a chair. Or an atomic bomb.
I'll check it out in the morning. Tonight has been reserved for getting baked and covering myself in kittens because THAT IS AN OPTION.
We need to get you laid. Or i fear you might explode like a firework of sexual innuendos and unfulfilled erotic fantasies.
Planning a foam party. Swimsuits are mandatory, and please no granny suits. If you wear a granny suit I will stick you in the corner and put a cone hat on your head.
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
I woke up this morning and I had the absolutely horrific realisation that I am the human incarnation of scrappy doo
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
apparently in the middle of sex, i said "i just really love the food network i watch it every day"
Randomize