I can tuck mytits in my pants
the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
to which he commented "you must really like me on top". I didn't have the heart to tell him that was the only way the room stopped spinning
We've been broken up for 7 months. His mom sent me a card with a brochure inside titled "How at Risk for STD's are you?"
I feel like I just need to fuck him after all his effort. like a "hey man good try" like those kids who get last place and still get a trophy.
You were telling the cab driver that you believe in him and just to follow his dreams
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth.
Just found a g string in our driveway, wtf happened this weekend?
Not as awesome as someone telling you that you have the biggest tits they've ever seen. And they're like 30-something, so they've seen a decent amount of tits in their lifetime.
I am the only person I know ever to have been brought TO the bar in the back of a cop a car. Twice.
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
that may or may not have been my penis.
Randomize
