I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
Whenever he makes me dinner its always mini things.. cheeseburgers, corndogs.. is he preparing me for something?
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
My mom just set up beer pong in the dining room for family game night. and you ask why I'm still living at home.
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
he texted me at 3am asking for "one of my famous blowjobs"
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
Me: 10% human, 90% poor drunken life choices.
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
We are the best cocktail. We look appealing, taste amazing, and ruin lives.
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
Randomize
