it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
Its important to me that you know there is a tambourine down my pants.
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
No no no no no no.... That's my emergency bottle for when I realize I've hit rock bottom
Some guy just rode an office chair down my street, I hope he comes back so I can give him my number.
I'M ALSO PLAYING VIDEO GAMES AND THINKING ABOUT ORDERING A PJIZZA. I'M NOT SURE WHAT MY MUSTACHE WANTS.
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
She's licking the whiskey out of the carpet. I think we may be soulmates.
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
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