He told me to pretend to be a shark, and he would slay me with his harpoon cock.
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
This is absurd. I need a man. Or even a moderately-clean hobo will do at this point.
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
So I have a scar from when the stripper tore off my underwear .... Best birthday ever
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
because nothing says “let’s fucking rage” like getting a compensation letter and some company stock
you have 10 seconds to explain why the toilet is full of bread or its ALL GOING ON YOUR BED.
Randomize
