butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
Sometimes I wish there were a little bird hiding that would periodically go, "creep-per."
Went to mcdonalds... Wishing I could throw up the last 20 hours of my life.
You were playing beer pong by yourself. Finally someone took the ball and threw it into the bonfire. You sat by it, cried, and contemplated how to get it out. For 45 minutes.
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
You were sitting in the tub, clothed, squirting my KY all over yourself. You said "it's warm." then passed out.
Well, now that you have a gf, its gonna be awkward when I get drunk and make out with you..... Then later, pretend like I don't remember.
Whatever. I just smoked another bowl so I don't care and wow I just noticed how fast my thumb moves when I text. I'm amazing.
cool, get new shit, I dnt want the same old if it's my last drink ever
The world isn't ending you idiot. I'll grab beer
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
I came in like 30 seconds, and my dog got to watch me take the walk of shame to the bathroom to clean up. All in all, not my best performance.
I just caught your son trying to perform fellatio on himself. What do I do?
Randomize
