I just blew up the bathroom at work and now I feel like a new woman
Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
I told him we couldn't hang out because I had strep, he said he's had it once so he couldn't get it again. The sex isn't worth this level of stupidity
Dude...that line about her giving me a blowjob to get rid of her hangover actually got rid of her hangover. Spread the word.
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
This is true. I'm still having Jess write "no drugs" on my left hand and "except weed" on my right hand
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
Brb crying the tears of my youth
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
I just want to order a very large pizza and get very drunk and very laid.
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
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