So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
The beer is more important than you right now.
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
I just made kick ass drunk stir fry while taking care of three other drunk people and doing shots. I don't understand how that's not wife material
Whenever you're sad about your life, just remember that I'm on a first name basis with the late night taco bell drive-thru workers.
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
He said he discovered the mysteries of the universe inside an orange... I want whatever he was on.
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
i think we sleep fucked last night...
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
Bring vodka when you get back from court.
Why is the toilet broken? Why did I wake up naked in the shower, hugging a bath mat? WHY IS THE TOILET BROKEN?
Is it just clogged or something?
No! There are actual chunks of toilet on the floor.
Randomize
