At least make sure they are 18
Why
I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
I just used a franzia box to scrape the snow off my car.
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
I feel like somebody took my brain out. Stomped on it with cleats. And then put it back together with a glue stick. Thank you.
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
I've been sober for almost two weeks and it's been the worst two weeks ever. Even my mom told me I need to start drinking again.
I decided we werent gonna go for round 5 when he started trying to have a serious conversation about how blessed he is to have such a nice penis
He has a point, the man's penis is a legend.
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
Randomize
