Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
I just found a thank you note I apparently wrote to my bed last night for letting me borrow the comforter.
I demand visitation hours with the duck.
your like the ambassador to my penis.
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
fuck it. from now on whatever room i wake up in, i'm stealing clothes from. this walk of shame shit is too much without pants
Just dodged a state trooper, your weed will be there shortly. Fear the unbustable!
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
People are talking politics and I have had 9 mimosas
His middle name is Julius so I named his penis Caesar and told him he has to say "Hail Caesar!" whenever he comes. He didn't seem to like the idea, though.
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
Randomize
