i keep telling myself in the mirror "get undrunk"
Thats about the time I should have known you would run around naked and try to make out with my sleeping mother
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
3 things. 1. is this real life 2. my liver hates me 3. keg race tonight
She sprinted out of the bathroom and ran all the way into the middle of the street. Five minutes later she came back with a banana nut muffin. She's that kind of drunk.
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
Drunk me made out with someone's girlfriend last night, was invited to their place for a semi-threesome, and then walked home at three am. Can't decide if this is better or worse than drunkenly challenging everyone to taekwondo sparring matches...
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
Why are your underwear on my dining room table?
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
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