i woke up this morning in my bathroom,naked, with my boxers around my face and puke and shit on the floor and wondering why i didn't have a toenail on my one big toe.
compared to you, a hobo is quite responsible.
Please tell me how you drunkenly remembered your social security number when we were checking you into the ER.
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
Ask if he wants his tooth back. It's in the freezer. In the box of hotpockets.
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
I think I will be cutting those pills in half...Jesus just tried to sell me a toothbrush.
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
I just need to stick to one night stands and delete social media
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
I should probably apologize for licking you last night since you drove me home, but I stand by my decision
Just find a separated / divorcing man. They’re too upset to fall in love, too helpless to be alone and too horny to think straight. Smile at him the right way and he’ll be thrilled to be with a sexy younger woman!
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