hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
Never write on a napkin "my face, your boobs" with your phone number and give it to a girl. Just a tip of the day from my nightly experiences lol.
We need to hang out more often
I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
are you serious? he told me he had to cancel bc his grandma came into town
well unless his grandma is 21 and blonde, HE LIED TO YOU IDIOT
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
is there any kind of "im boning my neighbor and he happens to be a manager at walmart" discount that our new relationship entitles me to??
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
We took a walk on the beach after the bar, he held my hand and kissed me. And then I peed under a lifeguard stand. It was so romantic.
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
we had to invent a new word for how drunk I was last night
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
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