Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
Sex on a kitchen table is not as amazing as they make is seem in the movies.
he stole me 6 pairs of frilly undies and proclaimed "your ass looks like a 5 in those. it'll be a 10 in these bad boys". every girl needs a gay bff.
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
Look, all I'm sayin is $2 boilermakers and an expense account are probably a bad mix…
Everything's fine I'm just stoned and my pillows are too soft.
I tried telling the cop that I don't do drugs, and that if he'd just take me home I could prove it by showing him my D.A.R.E. certificate.
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
I never thought my selfie stick would come in handy for nudes.
false alarm, still single
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
Randomize
