Haha na a cat just ran under your car. Howd that happen?
Probably a woman cat. Doesnt think things through
Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
I dont wanna date her. I just wanna be able to run a blacklight over her face and prove ownership.
I love my penis, it thinks for me sometimes
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend. I woke up at 7 this morning to drive your mistake home because you wouldn't get up.
my greatest accomplishment from the city of diplomacy is that i puked at a table of 5 diplomats and my professor and NONE OF THEM NOTICED
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
Life hack: hotbox while in the car wash. It'll change your life.
Let us rub each other in fish scales and become mermaids
He struggled for a second trying to unhook my bra and I said "4/10. Novice."
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
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