The only reason you're wearing underwear tonight is cause you have a family dinner before
I just snorted a line of adderall through a rolled up business card for the Michigan Law Admissions Office.... Tell me I'm not motivated
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
Also, new rule: You are no longer allowed to send me a text with the word "dildo" in it before 10am.
The last thing I said to him last night before telling him he couldn't give me a kiss goodnight was pointing at his dick then at me and saying "this isn't working out"
you can't tell me you didn't shit your pants I saw them in the trash can by the bathroom.
Remember when I peed in the trash can in the ATM room last night?
Never thought I'd say this, but thank god for my blackouts.
I gave up on alcohol forever for like 2 hours, that's got to be a new record
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
Too much dab too little lung dying šµšµšµ
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
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