Her hair smelled like a rat dipped in mustard on fire
True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
I just woke up in a puddle of boob sweat. Definitely time to consider a reduction.
He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
he actually said the words "do you want to pet the lizard?" with a straight face as he unzipped his pants
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
Your maid of honor is passed out in a golf cart on the 18th hole.
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
When you get home there will be live fish in the bathtub. I did not put live fish in the bathtub.
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
He held my hair back for me while i vomited in my driveway last night and i repayed him by farting mid-heave.
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
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