Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
Who wears a wallet chain?!
That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
I lost control in the snow and hit a parked car. I went into our building to get a pen and paper to leave a note and when I came back the car was gone and there was a hot girl there. I used the pen and paper to get her number.
on todays agenda: meeting with a life coach then going to the dollar store to buy batteries for my vibrator. clearly im still unemployed.
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
doing shots of $6 a bottle whiskey and chasing it with milk. my own personal way of saying fuck life.
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
It’s a hundred kinds of wrong to do Jell-O shots at home alone. Right?
I support drinking alone. But Jell-O shots. That’s a game changer.
Randomize
