Alarm just got pulled in my exam
Swear it wasn't me
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
He called his prostate his "boner button".
Sorry you called when I was puking in a cheetos bag
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
So hungover. Have a black eye from where I tried to brush my teeth and stabbed myself in the eye instead. Should make the performance review I was stress drinking about go so much better.
Holy. Fuck. This mans mouth is magical. I love married men. I don't have to teach them.
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
Just calling to thank you for not dying. I love you.
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
You’ll (maybe) appreciate that I picked at my ingrown hair again. Quarantine updates are getting BLEAK.
Randomize
