My mom caught just caught me jerking off...in her room.
i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
im sitting in the back of my pickup eating an artichoke. please come find me, im scared.
that was a mass text, wasnt it?
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
She brought a box of chocolates to give the bartender and now he's giving her free shots.. Why didn't we think of that?
I will fuck him senseless, no need for a priest.
I only have one eye to read your texts because I just stabbed one out after reading that last text.
Putting a breathalyzer in a bar is a horrible idea. But I won
you know it's a good party when the fucking floor caves in. THE FUCKING FLOOR.
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
next time you go get food at three am and leave a rando here can you warn me??? Also i tazed him. but it was just my little one so i think he'll be fine. bring me some fries.
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
Randomize
