my ass just sighed. even my farts are tired.
There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
Dude you're alone at a bar with a woman, and you're talking about my junk?
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
I swear, the guy behind me wasn't paying attention until the words "middle aged fuckboy" came out of my mouth.
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
He wants to buy me a wedding ring and pretend to be married to someone else when we fuck. It actually makes me wet thinking about it.
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
I just woke up hand cuffed to the bar and shirtless, so yeah I think I need you to come get me.
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
Randomize
