I hope, cuz I was gunna get "celebritory drunk" but now I have to get "I'm disappointed drunk"
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
I don't know which is a more impressive stolen object. The couch from a sheer logistical viewpoint, or the parking meter because i'm pretty sure that's a federal offence.
There's nothing like sitting directly behind someone you fucked 5 years ago at church on Easter Sunday
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
Let's go one conversation without mentioning cats or alcohol someday.
There are some things you can ever unsee. And walking in on your dad jerking off is one of those things.
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
She has also never texted me first which I think might be a tell-tale sign she wants me to die alone.
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
It's okay that we broke up and all but it's not okay that he still has my Chick-fil-A calendar card. This month is free fries!
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
Randomize
