What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
drinking ice water after you brush your teeth, is like Antarctica blowing a load into your mouth.
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
This lady gave me four cups to go along with my gallon of daiquiri. Silly girl, all I need is a straw.
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
In other news, the one guy I DIDN'T have sex with in High School is now famous.
I don't want to just break his heart, I want to dip it in liquid nitrogen and then smash it until it's powder and snort the powder
Well. I had to explain to my niece that the word cunt is not an abbreviation for country. I'm the best aunt in the world.
I puked on her cat, I think I should at least buy her breakfast
Help. Why am I so naked?
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