Absence makes the cock grow harder.
Standing in front of the open refrigerator with a 3/4 empty bottle of wine eating Bac-o's from the jar, topless. Somebody really should've taught me better coping skills.
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
Yes. No, I'm basically a superhero but with drugs. I'm robin hood. I steal from the rich (insurance and drug companies) and give to the poor (everyone I know).
He came in two seconds and stole my pizza so I'm not counting it.
I'm counting my small victories this morning. For instance, I haven't puked at work yet.
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
Now: to brush my teeth, put on my grandma slippers and earplugs, masturbate to 50 Shades and then PTFO
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
St. Patrick's day can kiss my ass. Still hungover. I guess I showed up at my gym blacked out yesterday morning. Like im not missing a gym day b
I have aggressive nipples.
Why did I wake up with BYOB sharpied on my stomach
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
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